Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner?
A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades.

Q: And where did you get these babies?
A: Abortion Clinic.

Q1: What's red and white and bubbles all over?
Q2: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window?
Q3. What is brown and taps on a window?
Q4: What's pink and red and bangs on the window ?
Q5: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass?
A: A baby in the microwave.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can?
A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.

Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.

Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.

Q: How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little
   baby face and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at
   you with those little baby fingers and little baby toes?
A: Gouge its eyes out.

Q: What is a sure way to stop a baby from crying?
A: With an axe.

Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

___________________________________________________________

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a
sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down.  He hurries
down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing
a 10 story building.  And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the
window shouting to the firemen below.

FIREMAN:  Come on, lady, jump.  We have the tarp here, we'll be able
  to catch you.
LADY:     No....I can't.  My baby, my baby is up here.
FIREMAN:  Throw the baby down, we'll catch him.
LADY:     No, you'll miss.  I can't leave my baby.

Jerry sees this and steps forward.  "Hey, I think I can help.  Let me
have the bullhorn."

JERRY:    Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco
  49er's.  I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby
  down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living.

Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby
down to him.  Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes
and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course.  Jerry sees this
and takes off after the baby.  He hurdles the line closing off the area,
fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over
the car,  and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby.
The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch.
So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two
step and then spikes the baby.

___________________________________________________________

A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.

Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked
the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy ....

SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....

Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHREEEK and
hollers MY GOD ..... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY ??????

The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He was ALREADY DEAD !!!!!!!!!!

or

A woman is lying in her hospital bed after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.

When the baby is born, the nurse looks at the mother and says
with a sad voice I am sorry, but your baby is stillborn.

MAD with sorrow the mother THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....

The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He wasn't DEAD !!!!!!!!!!